Rocks Fall Everyone Dies

Matt's Notes for 8/2/2017

Lowering the bar since 1975

My notes this week weren't so though… thougho… thorou… thoreau… extensive… so I apologize in advance.

We start off still in ye olde tomb, where we close up the door and head off to check out this rumored treasure cave. Sir Bearington is waiting for us, realizes he doesn't need to stay with us any longer, but hat we provide food and entertainment and that if we die he'll get to feast upon us all in the great circle of life so he decides to tag along.  Also, we detect no more weird evil presences…. so I'm sure that's totally done with and we are safe from the undead because they won't come back at some inopportune time in the future!

Traipsing through the woods we do eventually find our way to some gorges amongst the woods which seem like promising locals for caves, and lo we find one. Sneaking about the entrance we hear the faint fluttering of wings, no doubt these are bats (they are not bats) so I warn everyone to watch their hair. Bats love getting up in people's hair. Oh and some sound that could be some large creature breathing deep and steady… or maybe just some air movement in the cave, I'm sure we''ll be fine so I let the party head on in while I feed Sir Bearington and let him know we'll be back soon. The cave, being a cave and therefor dark, caused Aramis to cast light upon his shield so as to allow himself to see. This had the unfortunate side effect of waking up/enraging some blood sucking not-bats… there is much blood loss and splattering of the weird mosquito/bat hybrids. There is absolutely no exchanges of bodily fluids, and we'll never talk of this again. 

Oh, the heavy breathing was a rather large brown bear that we decided could have the cave… I did check out to see if there might be treasure but there was not… false rumor, or deliberate trap? Regardless we head back into town, weary and ready to kick back and relax at the good ol Swinging Sword Inn. Durus and myself head to the bar to speak with the sheriff and get some ale from the woman behind the bar, Kaylessa. Aetron and Aramis (this needs a nickname.  Is "The Double A Team" trying to hard?) however head towards the back of the Inn where Aetron had spotted Dornen, the man who sent us on a wild bear hunt. Clearly he was guilty because when he saw us enter he ran to the bathroom to hide out… totally not because he was having intestinal issues. Probably.

So the really interesting part here is that Kay tells us of Lance Rock and some evil going down out there, and beign the adventuring murder hobo types we are just the people to investigate that shit. Durus and I also get some fine drinks going.  Around this time Aramis decides that waiting outside the bathroom isn't terribly exciting so heads over to get some drinks as well.

However, Aetron's patience is rewarded, when Dornen glances out the door and seeing him pops back inside screaming like a person who just saw an angry warlock waiting for them. Aetron kicks down the door, which takes a few tries but that final kick… oh, that was a sweet one. Door right off the hinges, Dornen pinned to the toilet. Unfortunately Dornen's friends are getting suspicious and start to come looking… and then all heck breaks loose.  Flexo the mighty rips off his shirt, the other less interesting guys don't do that and just come a running after Aetron, who after taking a final stomp on the door (which causes poor Dornen to break through the shoddy toilet into the filth pit below) leaps out the back window and escapes into the night…

The rest of us all all escorted out of the Inn under the disapproving gaze of the halfling deputy. We mill about with the other patrons, sharing some drinks and waiting to see what happens. Sheriff Harburk rounds up Dornen and his quarry working buddies and send them off home.

Meanwhile, Aetron uses his fabulous magic to change his face and heads back in to town (he forgets that he could also change his cloths which would have made the next bit less interesting). As they make their way home, Aetron uses his fabulous magical powers to speak into the mind of Dornen, giving him dire warnings and threats, which causes him to babble like a crazy man. Flexo, being not just uberstrong but more perceptive than his friends, spots the similarly dressed stranger lurking near the crossroads and yells out "IT'S HIM!" and charges… totally whiffing his punch and falling to the ground. Aetron maintains his innocence "I just arrived in town! All alone! These cloths are quite common where I come from, it must have been some other miscreant!" Harburk shoos the quarry folk on home, totally fooled by… wait, nope, not fooled at all. He turns to Aetron, shushes him, and sends him off with that disapproving dad look… he's not angry, just terribly disappointed in you son.

We wrap this up for the night and get ready to take on the mysteries of Lance Rock.

Also we're totally paying for that door and toilet repair… not because we were involved. No no.  Because we're… friendly murder hobos. Doing work for the community. Yup. 

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